Posts Tagged ‘ chris ’

YOPS Reviewz: Gremlins

Tonights Review, “Gremlins” Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Chris Columbus. Starring Zach Galligan, Pheobe Gates, Hoyt Axton, Dick Miller, and Francis Lee McCain.

Randall Peltzer is a inventor. A bad one at that. He’s just horrible. Anyway, he goes to Chinatown in Manhattan and to try and sellt his invention of his, a sort of bathroom swiss army knife. A kid leads Peltzer to the child’s father’s small shop. Peltzer attempts to sell his useless invention, and discovers a little furry animal thing and decieds he must ahve it for his son. He aquires the thing and before he leaves, he is told by the son of the shop owner that he must follow three rules – Never put the Mogwai (that’s what it’s called)  in brights lights. Especially the sun. The second is never let it touch water. It cannot drink it, bathe in it, or what-have-you in it. The third, never let feed it after midnight. Ever.

On we go to young Billy Peltzer. He works at a bank. He brings his dog to work. Skipping right over that, there’s some old rich broad who CUTS IN LINE(!) in the bank and yells at Billy because his dog broke her ceramic snowman. She then tells him that she’s going to catch and kill his dog not unlike a certain witch I know. Anyways, the dog decides this lady is a whiner and jumps over the counter from under the counter and tackles her. She whines some more and Billy doesn’t get fired. He goes home after chillaxin’ at a bar with his lady friend. So he’s home with his mother and his inept father comes home. He gives Billy the Mogwai and we learn it’s name is Gizmo. So Billy is pretty cool on this whole sentient pet thing when his 10-11 year old friend who look suspiciously like Danny Torrence from “The Shining” knocks a jar of water on Gizmo. Gizmo start to bubble and froth as he writhes on the ground. He pops out what looks like Tribbles and they quickly transform into more Mogwai. Except they’re evil now. This one with a white Mohawk seems to be their leader and tricks Billy into feeding them after midnight. And they turn into little green monsters called Gremlins….

This isn’t that old. It was made in 1984. I think “Temple of Doom” came out in’84. Steven Spielberg had quite an influence on both these. “Gremlins” is both a great Halloween movie, and a Good Christmas movie. I enjoyed this quite a lot. It’s a black comedy for kids. It’s certainly scary at some points. Several characters are murdered in un-pretty ways. I loved the gremlins themselves. Keep in mind when you watch this to just sit and let the madness wash over you. It’s a really fun movie. The Gremlins are obscenely destructive and rite when you think it’s almost over it through are huge curve ball at you. On the other side, I hated Gizmo. He’s grossly cute. Maybe if he was a little bigger and stupider, he wouldn’t annoy me so much. It’s a good horror movie for kids I think. It should suitably scare the you-know-what out of them. Anybody from 5-10.

You can tell it’s a Spielberg movie. Lot’s of fog and green lights. But it all works beautifully. I’m still bothered by the end where all the Gremlins are dressed in fitting clothes. Where’d they get those? I mean, really?

All in all, it’s a great movie. Defiantly see it. It’s worth it.

-james

Movie Reviewz: Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Tonights review: Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief  Directed by Chris Columbus and Written by Craig Titley Starring Logan Lurman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Jake Abel, Sean Bean, and Peirce Brosnan based on the book of the same name by Rick Riordan.

The film begins with young Percy Jackson played by Logan Lurman and his crippled friend Grover attending a high school in New York city, New York. Percy’ father abandoned him when he was seven months old to live with his mother and later on, his stepfather Gabe, a crotchety, smelly, pig of a man played with finesse by none other then Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix, Daredevil, Unknown) which was a nice surprise. When on a field trip to a history museum, a substitute teacher pulls him aside and promptly turns into a winged beast and threatens to kill him if he doesn’t give her a lighting bolt of some sort. After being saved by his wheelchair ridden teacher Mr. Brunner and Grover they mutter abut several things that will make sense later. Grover takes Percy back to his (Percy’s) house and crashes Joe’s poker party. They run away with Percy’s mother after Grover beats Joe up and start to drive to a undisclosed location. Percy’s mother explains that his father never wanted to leave and was made to but before she can explain why, a huge monster barrels through the road, throws a cow at the car, and chases the threesome into the nearby forest. The monster in question is a fifteen foot tall minotaur that looked amazing. The three find a arch that leads onto the unsaid Camp Half-Blood, but Mrs. Jackson is apparently not allowed in. She is grabbed by the monster and suddenly turns into golden dust and fades away. Percy, being the righteous fellow that he is, pulls out a pen Mr. Brunner had given him earlier, and thanks to Grover pushes a button on the side and out pops a sword. Queue heroic music. He battles and kills the minotaur, then faints. Three days later, he awakes in a infirmary of some sort and Grover walks in just in time to see him wake up. Grover takes him on a tour of the place (Camp Half-Blood) and at the fighting arena, he spot his love interest, Annabeth, played by Alexandra Daddario. Moving on, he sees his teacher Mr. Brunner, except this time out of the wheel chair and with a extra set of limbs (He’s a centaur). Percy is told that he is the son o’ the sea god Poseidon. After a vicious game of capture the flag, Percy befriends Annabeth daughter o’ Athena and a young man named Luke, son o’ Hermes. They are told by non other then the devil himself (Hades) (played by Steve Coogan who has been brought back from the dead after being impaled upon some spikes at the beginning on Raiders of The Lost Ark) that he (Hades) has Percys mother and will only give her back when a stolen lightning bolt previously owned by king o’ the gods Zeus is delivered to Hades. Oh, Yeah, and if Zeus doesn’t get it back soon he’ll destroy the world or something, I don’t know. And so begins the craziest week of their lives!

BOOM! A surprisingly good movie. For a movie loosely based on a badly written book by Rick Riordan it WAS good. The writer Craig Titley did a good job even having written my least favorite episode of  The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network. The flow was good and the actors were also good for a group of youths. But there are some accomplished actors like Pierce Brosnon , Sean Bean, Steve Coogan, Uma Thurman, and Rosario Dawson. Jake Abel who played Luke, was my favorite character and actor in the film because he made you STILL like him even when he was attempting to kill Percy at the end. I did miss several things from the book like Dionysus, Ares, and Kronos. It kept with the story, but it simplified it. In the book, it was much more of a mystery when they were trying to figure out who stole the bolt, and Zeus and the gods were much more angry at everyone. People are saying that this is trying to be the new Harry Potter. One, nothing will ever top Potter. Two,  This was nothing like Potter in either the books or movie. On the book part, I HATED the writing in the book(s). I couldn’t stand how whiny all the characters seemed. The movie made them older, maturer, smarter and just downright better. The love story betwixt Annabeth and Percy was horribly done and when Riordan attempted drama, he fail miserably. Now, don’t get me wrong, old Rick had one of the best ideas of…whatever year the first book was released, but he could have pulled it of much better. This is a perfect example of a teen movie. I wish I hadn’t seen this when I had. The theater was packed with young teenagers and children brought by they’re parents. There is a special hell reserved for people who talk in theaters whilst a movie is playing. Sure I don’t give a care if you lean over and whisper a joke to the person sitting next to you, but you have the people who don’t even yell at the screen, just say it in a normal voice. I swear I will laugh if someone just screams “don’t go in there” at the screen at a tense part, but when you say it as if you are talking to a person in front of you in a small room where you are all alone it’s just plain annoying. You know who you are.

That will wrap up tonight boys and girls.

8/10

-james